Home, James: Him, You Can Drunk Dial

— by Caroline on Crack


Contrary to popular belief, I’m actually not a big drinker. Since two cocktails is usually my limit, I inevitably end up being the designated driver for my friends. But ever since I heard about Home James, I’m gonna say, “Screw you guys, I’m gettin’ drunk!” Just kidding, no I’m not, but it’s nice to know that this driving service is available should it come to that.

Home James is a genius idea. You know how sometimes you end up getting behind the wheel even though you know you shouldn’t after one cocktail too many, just because you don’t want to leave your car somewhere? I’m not your mom, but you risk life, limb and someone else’s life by doing that, eff the inconvenience! OK, sorry I had to yell at you. But now you have good ol’ “James,” the only person it’s all right to drunk dial.

Call the service and they’ll send over a driver. He’ll show up on a

Di Blasi scooter that can easily collapse and fit in your trunk. For $35 (for the first 5 miles and $3 per mile thereafter) he’ll drive you and your car home. No judgment.

I know what you’re thinking: “I don’t feel comfortable having some stranger pilot my car and take me home.” But not to worry, the company thoroughly screens their drivers, checking for a clean driver license, conducting background checks and applying random substance abuse tests. And they’ve been used for events like the William Morris Agency’s Grammy party, Scrubs‘ wrap party and the Fred Segal fashion show.

The cute factor? Once the drivers come to work for Home James, they’re renamed “James” and have to speak with a British accent at all times. AND, I hear that the drivers are actor-model types dressed in mod black Mossimo suits. Hey now!

If you end up having a favorite driver, you can request him every time you use the service.

You have to be a member to use the service (they only drive insured vehicles and need permission to drive your car), but fortunately membership is free.

You can make reservations online if you know you’re going to get blitzed ahead of time, or call (213) 347-0155 if you need a driver right away. The office is open 10am to 3am Monday through Saturday, but Sunday drivers and early mornings must be reserved in advance.

Yes, I now have them on speed dial.