Ma'Kai My Ass

— by Caroline on Crack


Let it be known that I am not a big fan of meat markets. When I go out on weekend nights, it’s just to hang out with my friends and have fun. We don’t go out to hook up with dudes we pick up in bars. But if you are into that sort of thing, Ma’Kai is the place for you. Correction, it’s the place for you if you’re in your late 30s and you think you’re the shit, you’re a tourist, or you’re looking to hook up with any of the above.

I went one Saturday night with a couple of my girlfriends and we were treated to very aggressive men approaching us with the worst lines. “Weren’t you on Baywatch?” Two guys nearly came to blows over one friend, something I’ve never seen in real life. “I was talking to her first.” “Well, I’m talking to her now.”

There was a DJ playing ’80s tunes and a tiny dance floor that spilled out into the bar area and patio as everyone tried to get their groove on, stepping on toes and elbowing one another in the process. The place was so packed it was nearly impossible to get from one side of the room to the other. I heard there’s a really nice fire pit on the patio, a prime spot to sit at sunset, but couldn’t see it or get to it because of the packed-like-sardines situation.

There’s also a restaurant area but reviews on CitySearch say the food is terrible. The drinks were priced up there and sorta weak.

Like I said, the guys were meat-market aggressive but so were the girls. I was dancing with someone who I thought was the only good-looking guy there and girls kept dancing up to him doing the faux-lesbian dance that some girls like to do to turn guys on.

Not a fun place for me, but if all you’re looking for is THAT kind of good time, get in the long line outside Ma’Kai in Santa Monica.

101 Broadway Ave
Santa Monica, CA 90401
(310) 434-1511
Cross Street: Ocean Avenue